“A true champion knows how to overcome doubts and manage those doubts and turn them into motivation.”
-Misty Hyman, Olympic gold medal swimmerWe all have doubts. Doubts are a natural and normal part of life. Some doubts are small like the uncertainty that you have about your team’s chances this weekend against your rivals. Other doubts are bigger like the doubts you may have about your place on the team. Good athletes master their bodies but great athletes master their minds. Part of mastering your mind is knowing how to deal with doubt. Doubts get into your head and take the form of statements that say you’re too fat, too short, too old, too young or too weak. Pressure tends to activate this negative self-talk. I don't know where your doubts came from but the chances are they came from someone else. I remember having a teacher in junior high school that told me that I would never amount to anything. Based on a few weeks of knowing me she sized me up and told me I was going to wind up on the front page of the newspaper and not in a good way. She said that I would very likely be involved in robbing a gas station or liquor store. I was stunned. I was so hurt and angered by what she said but I knew she didn't really know me. I'd only been in her class a couple weeks. However, she had seen certain behaviors and was sure I was headed down the wrong road. Like a lot of kids, I was following the crowd. The problem was the crowd wasn't really doing the right kinds of things. She said that I was easily influenced and that’s a problem when most of the neighborhood influences aren’t positive. This teacher planted a seed of doubt in my mind. She made me unsure for just a moment of my future. She was an authority figure. “Ms. D.” had been teaching for many years. She "knew" inner city students. What did I know? I was 12 years old.
I never told my mother or any other teachers what she said to me. I just wanted to prove her wrong. Today I know many techniques and strategies for dealing with doubts and negative self-talk but at the time I just kept it inside. Probably not the best way to go. Maybe if she had been my teacher for longer than a couple of weeks her words might've had a much more damaging effect. But I knew she didn't know the real me. Deep inside I knew I was a winner. I knew I was destined to do great things. So even though it hurt deep inside I was able to ignore her negative incantations. I had my share of bad teachers like the one in this example who I refer to as “Ms. D.” But I've had great teachers like the one I'll call “Mr. V”. He was my eighth grade teacher. He really knew me and believed in me 100%. His belief in me was so strong he helped me get a scholarship to a private high school. Sometimes we collect doubts, fears, and negative statements. When we have a collection of them it completely erodes our self-esteem and confidence. We must collect the opposite kinds of statements. When we our predominant self-talk is positive, we are able to reject the criticisms, pessimism and out and out putdowns of the people around us whether they are coaches, teachers, parents or even good friends.
I tell the story of “Ms. D” all over the country when I give presentations to parents and teachers on hypnotic accelerated learning techniques. Sometimes I wonder if my teacher was using reverse psychology on me. (I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.) Did she really believe that I was a future criminal? Was her intent to help me change my ways or was she just venting her frustration? Didn’t she know that the statements teachers make to their students often become self-fulfilling prophecies? Did she know that I would remember those words from that fateful day the rest of my life? Having her as my 7th grade teacher was one of the reasons why I became a teacher. I knew that I had to be part of the new generation of teachers who understood the power of their words to hurt or heal. Well, “Ms. D.” was right. I did wind up in the newspaper, many times. I haven’t made the front page yet. However, my work with test taking anxiety at SUNY New Paltz, breast cancer survivors at a Kingston, NY hospital, medical school students in Atlanta, dentists in Poughkeepsie, athletes in London and most recently my open house for my new office space have all made it into the paper. No ski masks, no sawed-off shotguns and no high-speed car chases. I have successfully avoided the life of crime my 7th grade teacher predicted by successfully managing the seeds of doubt that she planted in my mind. Self-hypnosis and the various mental skills that I teach in my coaching program assists athletes, dancers, students, and business people to banish doubt, break free from fear and turn their hopes into action. Today, realize your doubts are deception and build your motivation by focusing on all the reasons you have for succeeding.
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