January 13, 2012

“Please don’t wish to have no obstacles, wish for the power to go through them or the ingenuity to go around them. “
-Ajamu James Ayinde, Master Mental Coach and Certified Sports Hypnotist

It's much easier to see how difficult circumstances are helpful in building character… in other people.  When it comes to our own lives, we would all rather have smooth sailing.  Few people seek out difficult circumstances by which to test themselves. But isn't that what athletes do?   It's fun to watch or read about but doing it ourselves is another story.  Don’t beat yourself up too much.  It's a pretty natural tendency in most people but it doesn’t help you grow. Going back to the metaphor “smooth sailing’, the sailor who CHOOSES to sail in rough waters or navigate by the position of the stars grows in skill and confidence.  We never know when circumstances will make this a necessity.   It's important to remember that. No one chooses a life of hardship, filled with trials and tribulations and yet somehow it still can happen.  The tough times come without our bidding.   How well you are prepared for these unforeseen circumstances has a lot to do with the number of times you've chosen to overcome hurdles and the fortitude you have built as a result. I watched a match between John Fitch and Paulo Thiago at UFC 100 recently and I saw a great example someone working his way out of a tight spot literally, escaping a guillotine choke.  The commentators mentioned over and over the sacrifices Fitch made to get to his level of fitness.  For those who don’t know Fitch, he was a walk-on at Perdue and went on to be Captain of that university’s highly respected wrestling team.

An easy life completely free of difficulties seems like a great thing. However, a wise man once said, “Accustom your children to hardship”. Parents who find ways to safely expose children to challenges are helping them to grow into capable adults.  This approach doesn’t just apply to athletes or children. The difficulties we face as a nation or culture help us all to advance as people.   Difficulties like the Great Depression and 911 have proven that. In karate and other sports; coaches place athletes in situations where they must move beyond their current limitations, be they physical or emotional. It is only by placing obstacles in the path of athlete that he or she learns to run faster or leap higher. Without those obstacles the athlete would not advance physically or mature emotionally.

I remember what it was like in high school when I had a substitute teacher for one of my classes. While it wasn't guaranteed, most of us kids in the room could be pretty sure that it was going to be an easy day. How could she push us when she didn't even know us?  Without some pushing can you bring out your best?  But when your teacher knows you and is a good teacher, she will press you and will test you because she knows it's in your best interest.  My US history teacher in high school, Mr. Hitz always helped bring out my best.  There was no way to slack off in his class and when I moved on to another teacher, I missed his tough standards when I was no longer required to bring my best effort to get a good grade. A race that is won with little or no effort isn't really appreciated or remembered, don’t you agree?   Don't get me wrong, I look forward to a vacation from hard work as much as the next guy but too many of those days leads to a weakening of your skills.

What's going on in your life right now? Are you in an environment that is challenging? Do you see gains on a weekly or monthly basis from the efforts that you're exerting?  If you're not seeing the results that you would like, you have only two choices: work harder or work smarter.  A Mental Coach can be helpful in these cases to help you to put forth more effort or direct your efforts in a new way so that you can start to see progress. In my role as a Master Mental Coach, I motivate my clients to renew their efforts.  I'm also able to help them diagnose where they might change their focus.  Sometimes the athlete may be hitting the wall and more effort in the same direction will only bring frustration. Pausing, taking a step back or changing direction can be what's truly needed to make a breakthrough but such a change in approach doesn't get adopted unless one adopts an outsider’s perspective.

Remember the expression about pressure and how it creates diamonds. Embrace the pressure and make it work for you. Diamonds are brilliant, tough and rare and so are you.

-Ajamu James Ayinde, M.A., A.C.H.

Master Mental Coach

Creator of the M.E.N.T.A.L. Games ™ system of sports enhancement

“Sports success begins in the mind.” ™

845 240-6470