April 8, 2012

“The only person who can stop you from reaching your goals is you.”

-Jackie Joyner-Kersee, US Olympian, track and field

Your goal begins as a dream. Olympic champions know a lot about dreams. Jackie Joyner-Kersee has won an incredible six Olympic gold medals in her sport.  But her dream started in 1975 when she saw a documentary on Babe Didrikson.  Babe, who was accomplished in several sports, inspired Jackie to strive for track greatness. Realizing dreams takes tremendous commitment. If you play a sport you may think your biggest opponent is the person who is running in the next lane but it's always you versus you. Keeping the dream alive in your mind today and year after year is what my mental coaching practice is all about.  I’ve studied the motivational strategies of Olympians from various sports to identify what might get you out of a warm bed on a cold day and into the gym. There's really not that much of a difference between a dream and goal. Both represent some great future accomplishment.  A dream lacks the power of a goal. Part of your power will come from the plan that outlines the goal’s achievement. Dreams cease being dreams and become goals when plans are combined with action.

But before you get the trophies there will be many challenges all along the way. Sometimes the challenge is just day-to-day survival: going to work, paying the bills and shuttling the kids back and forth to school and soccer practice. Sometimes the challenge comes in the form of discouraging words from friends or spouse. The toughest challenge though comes in the form of your own self-doubts. What if I'm not good enough? Can I really do a triathlon? There is no greater killer of goals and dreams. Talk about your dreams. Write them down. Listen to the dreams of another dreamer, a teammate perhaps. Go to the large shows and tournaments. Watch the great ones in your sport and allow yourself to dare! You could play at that level. You have the capacity to achieve your dream. Having the dream proves that.

What's getting in the way of you achieving your goals and dreams? I had a coaching client, named Manny who said he didn't have any big dreams. He thought it best that he didn’t get his hopes up of dancing in a professional ballet company.  He had the talent and the experience to earn the audition.  What he didn't realize was the price he was paying for his thinking.   He never made it to the audition.  If you don’t believe that you can have a dream, you don’t expect to win.  If you don’t expect to win, you don’t make the effort.  If you don’t make an all out effort, your chances of winning are very slim.  Shielding yourself from disappointment by saying you don’t want what you truly want almost always backfires. Manny would perform in shows from time to time doing his own choreography.  Audiences and critics responded very favorably to his artistry.  His success was likely due to a combination of his skill and relaxation brought on by his “whatever” attitude. How many more victories will you claim this season by having the courage to decide that you really want it?  Commit to that goal and go for it.  Take some steps toward it every single day.  Water the seed of the dream by thinking and talking about it every day.  Remember a dream will remain a wish until is transformed into a goal by a plan and consistent action.  The only one who can keep you from running one more lap is you.

Ajamu Ayinde, C.M. Ht., A.C.H.,

Certified Sports Hypnotist & Creator

M.E.N.T.A.L. Games ™ sports enhancement system
Sports success begins in the mind. ™
Connect with me on FB: www.facebook.com/ajamu.ayinde
Visit our website: www.harnesstheadvantage.com 
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Contact Us: 845-240-6470 and on Skype@ Sambamindman ajamuayinde@gmail.com

April 1, 2012

“You learn that whatever you are doing in life, obstacles don’t matter very much.  Pain or other circumstances can be there, but if you want to do a job bad enough, you’ll find a way to get it done.”    -Jack Youngblood, NFL Defensive End, LA Rams
We've all heard the expression, ”Where there's a will, there's a way.” This week’s quote is saying the same thing. But I have a few questions for you.  How do we find the will and once we’ve found the will how do we find our way? I found both the will and the way through the martial arts. Developing the will begins when we decide. The world is filled with incredible opportunities. We can have or achieve practically anything.  There is more than enough good stuff for everyone. With so much to choose from the challenge is finding out what we truly want.  After the choice has been made you’ll know if it was the right one when you have so many reasons for wanting it.  Your goal can be a place on the varsity team, a first-place finish in a race or to complete a grueling workout like the P90 X. But your reasons or “why’s” are so much more important than the “what” that you say that you want.  Your reasons are what help to conquer the internal and external hurdles.  My client, Michael, a mixed martial artist recently told me that our work together helping him define his reasons was one of the most important things he ever did. It helped him completely transform his training and now he is now sure he can reach his goal.

Wrestlers, like my client, Mike, have no shortage of willpower.  However, most people say that they lack willpower. In my coaching practice, I steer away from the concept of willpower. Most people tend to mystify willpower and very few people feel they have enough. But it is not an inborn skill. Willpower is what Jack Youngblood is talking about the above quote. When willpower is properly understood we can see it is really the extension of two mental skills: visualization and concentration.  Think about it. We all have the ability to visualize or imagine something we would like, right? We all have the ability to stay centered or focused on that image, more or less, right? Tim Gallwey, the author of the inner game series of books (Inner Game of Golf, Tennis, Skiing, etc.) has some very interesting things to say about concentration.  He says there are four levels to it: discipline, interest, absorption and oneness.

Discipline is a synonym for willpower but for our purposes it's just the ability to call your attention back to the subject of interest after you realize that your attention has wandered. The second component is interest and here's where I show all my clients how they can be successful without discipline. We all have interests.  We all have subjects that fascinate us.  When the mind becomes intensely interested it is EASY to focus. The third level of concentration is when it becomes so deep we are in fact absorbed in what we're doing. When we are absorbed we are free from the fears and doubts that crop up when we contemplate a fitness goal or undertake an athletic challenge. Gallwey calls the final stage of concentration oneness.  It may sound spiritual or mystical when you first read about it but the feeling of oneness is very natural thing. Some people might call this state of oneness “being in the zone” and it is something that even the best athletes only experience a few times in their careers. For you it might feel like being at one with your tennis racket or golf club or being at one with the game itself. In this concentrated state there is a quality of timelessness because although only a few minutes have passed on the clock, to the athlete it seems like an eternity.

I agree with Gallwey's ideas about concentration especially oneness being the highest form of concentration but I would change the order slightly and begin with “interest”, progress to “absorption“ and then “discipline”. Being disciplined in our concentration is a difficult first step.  It's a lot easier to call our attention back to a task or activity that we are fully engaged in.  Are you interested in your goal? Are you absorbed in your goal? If so, then it's likely that you are able to redirect your attention periodically so that you never lose sight of your goal.  Makes sense, huh? When you develop this mental skill, pain and unfavorable circumstances have no power to stop you. Now you know the WAY to find the will. 

Ajamu Ayinde, C.M. Ht., A.C.H., Certified Sports Hypnotist & Creator M.E.N.T.A.L. Games ™ sports enhancement system
Sports success begins in the mind. ™
Connect with me on FB: www.facebook.com/ajamu.ayinde
Visit our website: www.harnesstheadvantage.com 
Subscribe to our weekly sports psych blog: http://mentalgamestraining.blogspot.com
Contact Us: 845-240-6470 and on Skype@ Sambamindman ajamuayinde@gmail.com